Now a certain man was there who had an infirmity thirty-eight years. When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he already had been in that condition a long time, He said to him, “Do you want to be made well?’…..Jesus said to him, ‘Rise, take up your bed and walk.’ And immediately the man was made well, took up his bed, and walked. And that day was the Sabbath…..Afterward Jesus found him in the temple, and said to him, ‘See, you have been made well. Sin no more, lest a worse thing come upon you.’” John 5:5-6, 8-7, 14. (NJKV)
What does it take to be made well from ritual abuse when it often involves so many years of devastation including demonic oppression, mind control, false beliefs, trauma, etc? A survivor’s life often reminds me of the man in the scriptures from the passage in John 5 who had been afflicted for so long. I have frequently addressed the healing process in the past issues of the newsletter with a more narrow focus on certain root lies or false beliefs associated with mind-control and programming. These are important and helpful points to address, but for my purpose in this article I wish to concentrate on a broad concept that generalizes the entire process of healing. The issue I wish to tackle is one I often see neglected by many survivors and helpers. Without attention to this issue, it can be the trap that snares a person into an endless cycle of working on memories to resolve trauma while neglecting some of the important decisions on how to live life everyday. I selected the passages in John to illustrate some of these important challenges. In a nut-shell, I’m talking about accountability for the part of the personality system called the Christian host.
What do I mean by Christian host? This is the part of the system who identifies himself/herself as a Christian and who is generally the one who has sought help for problems in the first place. He/she is usually the one with the most amnesia to past trauma. The host is protected from abuse and neglect by parts of the system who handle for the host what she/he can’t handle. When there is enough joy strength, the host is the one to whom the alter personalities will provide information about past trauma and with whom the parts of the system will eventually integrate or join as one.
The host occupies the greatest part of the brain’s hierarchy of control known as the pre-frontal cortex and represents the will of the person. This part of the brain is conscious while most or all of the personalities are sub-conscious. The pre-frontal cortex where the host resides is desire-driven and makes choices for the system. A strong Christian host who will make decisions based on a Biblical standard of living for the entire system will experience a process of healing which is enduring and progressive. On the contrary, the more the Christian host believes that his/her will is given over to parts to manage life because the host is fearful, the more chaos will ensue regardless of how much trauma resolution is being done on memories to correct the dysfunction – actually, more memory work can make matters worse! Parts and memories might start to seem endless while no real positive change in daily functioning is visible or it becomes worse. Instability might increase including more dissociation, amnesia, depression, sleep disturbance and an inability to concentrate. An increase in poor coping strategies can occur such as addictions, eating disorders and self-harm to manage the distressing feelings that come with the memories.
Many crisis calls are received by C.A.R.E. throughout the year from survivors and helpers alike describing the process of healing and how it has gotten stuck while the daily functioning worsens. I often hear statements like the following: “We keep working and working on finding root lies in the traumatic memories and we keep working through more and more parts and systems but the survivor is getting more and more hopeless and less and less functional. What are we doing wrong?” In the past I used to believe what most of the professionals taught that continuing to expose false lies and beliefs and resolve trauma will produce the desired functioning and behaviors. I began to feel like I “couldn’t see the forest for all the trees” as several survivors continued to deteriorate through more memory work. I began to realize I was missing something very important – the maturity of the Christian Host.
While each of the five THRIVE principles (a place to belong, receiving and giving, trauma recovery, maturity, and knowing your heart) covered in our THRIVE conference are equally important in healing, I want to concentrate on the issue of maturity – the most neglected area. If a Christian Host remains amnesic and does not remember much of the session, it is an indication that the host does not have enough joy strength to endure traumatic information and emotions already remembered. It would be counter-productive to “dig” deeper to try to resolve more trauma and lies until such time as the host can be present and able to manage the emotions contained in the current parts and memories. Even more to the point, to over-focus on parts and memories while neglecting the host is an error that will allow fear-based parts to solve current problems according to unbiblical and occult practices and beliefs. When I challenge a Christian Host to make decisions for the system, the host often believes he/she can’t because of accepting the lie that he/she does not have the authority to make these decisions or doesn’t want to impose his/her will on the personalities. This is like saying to a child that the child will be in charge of all adult responsibilities of running a household and the actual adult has no expectations other than to remain childlike. It also fosters a false belief that these parts are not “parts” but actual separate people with separate wills. Personalities are created to contain trauma and will continue to exist until the person is able to associate the unresolved distressing emotion from the trauma.
In our C.A.R.E. community, so much of the important healing for survivors comes in the day to day living. The encounters with others while living in close proximity and frequent contact give many opportunities for accountability. What am I talking about when I use the word accountability? The following are examples of frequent questions used in daily conversations between survivors to address maturity in the Christian host:
- Do you remember your day? Can you give a fairly detailed account of your activities and conversations with others?
- What is it like you to do? Using Jesus as your example, how do you want to handle conflicts in a way that is godly?
- If you can’t remember something that you have dissociated, would you be willing to repent of any agreement you made not to remember and to accept anything the Lord feels you might be ready to know (the occult’s plan for the Christian Host is to make agreements with the cult and the demonic to not remember and not to tell secrets, not to feel and not to make godly decisions)?
- If you are too overwhelmed and dissociating and allowing a part of you to control things in a way that is against your beliefs and values, will you trust Jesus to take control and put in charge the part or parts He chooses?
- Will you pray daily and allow Jesus to be in control of all switching of personalities so that He has in charge who He desires at all times?
- If you learn that a part of you has said or done something hurtful to others that is against your values, will you take responsibility for that part and repent for that action? Will you ask the Lord to help you change this behavior? Will you let others point it out to you and let them help you remain accountable to change this behavior?
- Will you repent of fear, unbelief, pride and rebellion when you or a part of you engages in one of these strongholds? Will you let others point it out to you when they see it in you?
- Will you be willing to report anytime you or any part of you employs destructive coping strategies such as self harm, addictions or eating disorders? Will you tell others when you are not functioning well, such as trouble concentrating, sleeping, eating and resting?
- Are you willing to allow Jesus to be in charge of your healing including backing off memory work when you are unstable? Will you let Him decide if you, the Host, can handle something difficult such as a distressing emotion or a disturbing conflict? Will you pray and ask that He would increase your joy strength to remain conscious and responsible?
- Will you agree to stop using the words “I don’t know” as an automatic response and pray and ask the Lord if He wants to reveal something to you?
- Will you be willing to look first at the “log in your own eye before you reach to take the speck out of someone else’s eye?” Will you be humble in conflicts with others as well as with parts of your own internal system in resolving conflicts?
These are just a few of the many ways the C.A.R.E. community helps the Christian host take responsibility daily. Challenging someone to do the hard things is a very important part of maturing. As survivors are able to practice this in community, they report that they are able to function more consistently, remember more, and maintain a consistent sense of self through most of their day. They are able to increase in enough joy strength to stand against old destructive coping strategies that they never thought would be possible to confront. As they choose to accept the challenge to live godly lives to the best of their ability every day, they experience the “old man” falling away including less dissociation, less demonic and occult activity and much more joy and sense of accomplishment.
In the opening passage from John 5, Jesus asks the man if he wants to be made well. This might seem like a strange question at first (Who wouldn’t want to be well?) but I have come to appreciate this question when working with survivors. With healing comes responsibility to continue to mature by doing the hard things. It is not always an easy choice to want to be made well. While I need to emphasize that maturity is not an automatic ticket to healing since joy strength will also dictate the pace of trauma resolution, trying to heal without addressing the issue of maturity will be like continually putting the cart before the horse. I have often heard alter personalities describe the Christian host as a “wimp” who stands for nothing. The host espouses Christian values but denies the power of the Gospel when he or she continues to abdicate choices and the will to other parts. How will alter personalities who are fear-based problem-solvers steeped in occult beliefs and practices ever receive a witness of the Holy Spirit’s power and the love of Jesus if the Christian host isn’t around to demonstrate this to these parts? According to John 5, Jesus addressed the man He healed with an added admonition that he should sin no more or a worse condition might come upon him. I liken this to a Christian Host who won’t take the authority the Lord has given. What will follow are increased demonic attacks and control will be taken by parts that are increasingly deceived and destructive. On the contrary, if the Host will allow the maturing process to begin in even small ways to take steps toward doing the hard things he/she will find that the Lord will be faithful to increase the healing. As the following scripture suggests, a faithful Christian Host will eventually be placed in charge of the entire system.
“His Lord said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant; you were faithful over a few things, I will make you ruler over many things. Enter into the joy of your Lord.’” Matthew 25:23. (NJKV)
This article is part of our CARE Connection series. It is available for purchase at CARE Packaging.