How Can I Let Go?

by Sad Joy

January 8, 2002

Crying inside my head
I need to get it out.
Sweet baby, she is dead.
Inside I scream and shout.

I need to let it go
And leave her in God's hands.
She is safe with God...
She will never cry again.

But why would God allow
My sweet Rachel to suffer so?
I don't know the answer now
Perhaps I'll never know.

My anger is consuming me
Because she had to die.
The memory, it is haunting me.
I wouldn't take her life.

They tortured and hurt her
For hours to me, it seemed.
The torture inside continues
In my mind, my heart, my dreams.

I must let go
I have to grieve
I need to know
An inner peace

I am so very frightened,
To really, truly grieve.
I can not cry.
I can not leave.

What if I do let go
Of my little baby girl?
Will true peace I know?
Will it change my world?

My guilt, it overwhelms me
I saw her painful death.
I must learn to grieve
Before my final breath.

What will happen
if I let go, and cry?
If I let it all out
Will her memory die?