Fighting Poem

by Joy

Trigger Warning

July 24, 2001

I wrote a poem about my fight. I hope it helps you a little.

Fighting to keep fighting
Trying to survive
Inside I feel I'm dying
One memory at a time.

Afraid, alone, despairing
Feeling so out of control
Inside my heart not caring
My heart no longer whole

But now my heart is troubled.
I struggle to survive.
The intensity has doubled.
They want to take my life.

Not just my life, my story...
A help for those in need.
But God will get the glory
His victory I will seek

I feel it's coming soon...
I'm weary in this fight.
Victory I will pursue...
Against them I will fight.

I must resist the need
To take my life forever
The Holy Spirit heed
Can we get through together?

All I need is trust in God
To heal me from within
My faith in God just seems so small...
Can God take away this pain?

What if I do let go
And give it all to Him?
Will true peace I know?
Will He take it all on Him?

But these hurts, they seem too big
For even God to take away.
Every moment that I live
Within my heart they stay

I hear that He forgives me
I struggle every day
I accept the gift He gave me
as God takes my hurts away