not know

by shadows

Trigger Warning

June 27, 2001

soooooooooooooooooo confused. hurt emptied out
ache inside sick tummy scared all the time
yuck
those outside people they don't see
what's going on inside of me
that lady today with all those scars
didn't think I'd know

but i know what you are
cause i had scars too
though not like hers so bad
i wanted to ask her what hurt her so bad
to make her cut herself like that???
as if i wouldn't know

very triggering profession this
and church
there's another topic
can't fault it yet
not really
and maybe that is the trouble
cause i know the nicer they seem
the meaner they can be
once you are inside
and vulnerable
like me
and i want to go but am scared
and i wish someone know and cared
but they can't
so they won't
so they don't
and i am alone so many nights now
cause he has to work nights
and i am scared
and they won't change his schedule
and i have too much time alone
and it is not good
or safe
or wise
and i have no friends here to talk to
and i sit and drink beer with Roo
cause there is nothing else to do
but watch the wind howl and blow outside my window
and i feel a deep fall coming