can't stop crying

by shadow

June 16, 2000

it was the movie
it was awful
no warning
just scary all of a sudden
graphic violence
hit me hard inside
chest hurts
need to cry.....why?
its not me up there on the screen
that's not happening to me
then I remembered
it had happened to me and others
yes I was there
yes it did happen
and i can't hide behind anyone anymore
and i feel it all in my heart
and it feels like a funeral
and so I pray to Him
take it away please
this feeling
I don't want to feel it
i don't want to cry
and He said
No, I won't
you must cry
you didn't then
and you need to grieve
this is for you
and I saw it all in a slow parade inside
all the hurts, the terrible things and people
all displayed before me
the innocents now gone
what they suffered
how they died
what was done to me came last
but I remember
and all of it, not just bits
not just pieces of emotion or physical feeling or knowledge, detached as before,
but this time all attached together,
bonded together, as we are now
no one to hide it or hold it