Until recently, self injury was considered to be dangerous and bizarre, a rare and peculiar form of suicidal behavior. In the last ten years, we have begun to understand that this is not so. Self-injury is a coping mechanism, a way to relieve stress and anxiety, and is a way of communicating when words are just not available. Still, many therapists, health care professionals, family members, and friends hold the old stereotypes. This can mean that we are shamed for doing the very best we can, accused of being attention-seeking or manipulative, and treated brusquely or with contempt in the emergency room.

Often ritual abuse survivors can discover a specific meaning or function to the behavior. Does it happen on holidays? After seeing a perpetrator? After disclosing something significant? Once the meaning is understood, it can be talked about, drawn, danced, sung, or journaled, and the pressure to act physically may well diminish.

So do I self-harm? No. Well, only now and then. Not very often at all. Oh, and it's very mild. Lots of the time I'm not even aware of doing it, so that doesn't count.

Yes, I do self-harm. The first step will be to stop denying it; making it public like this sure helps. The next step will be to become conscious of doing it when I am doing it. The third step will suggest itself when the time comes.

Monthly Notes Volume 1, Number 11

Reprinted, with permission from

Survivorship

PMB 139

3181 Mission St

San Francisco CA 94110